WORDS TO WIPE OUR ASS WITH – YOUR BEST HATE MAIL!

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Concerned Whore Wife

From: Concerned Whore Wife

To Whom it May Concern,

I am writing to plead w/you to start censoring your website. I found my husband looking at your site yesterday & was disgusted at the scantily clad women you were showing on there. I don’t allow my husband to view such filth in my house and I hope my story will inspire you to remove those images ASAP.

-A Concerned Wife

Our Response:

Dear. Mrs. Concerned Wife,

Let your fucking husband do what the fuck he wants, you ball-busting thundercunt. Jesus Christ. Are you sure we didn’t used to be married? Fuck me running, at least he isn’t looking at kiddie-porn. Shut the fuck up.

-Fuck you you controlling bitch,

P.S. – Tell your husband we said, “BE FREE OR DIE!”

-FMS


Sammy

From: Sammy

To Liveral Assholes

you have good shirts that have republican stuff on them that is good and i wuld buy it. i wont because you have stuff for liberals too. why would you do that? that’s stupid to do that. you can’t be both and you cant sell both. you guys are just into it for money and you have no devotion for real morals or politics. give me a break. you guys suck.

– Sammy

Our Response:

Liveral assholes? What the fuck is that? Learn some proper grammer before you start bitching at me, man. That shit needed a 3rd grade teacher to correct all of the fucking mistakes in it. Your grasp on the English language aside, I think maybe you should shut the fuck up. Of course we’re in it for the moeny. Why the fuck else would anyone start a business? Our personal politics don’t come into play at all. We have conservatives AND liberals working side-by-side in this place….which is how it SHOULD fucking be. ‘Nuff said. Now shut the fuck up.

-FMS


P Dawg

From: P Dawg

To the Fuck-faces at Foul Mouth Assholes

You guys are pricks. I was looking at your site, and everything on there is made to piss somebody off. That’s bullshit. The art sucks. The designs suck. Who wants to wear that shit? NOBODY! You guys aint nothing but a couple of stoners who know how to make shits and make websites. Get a real fuckin’ job! Make some shirts that people can wear out in public or something cool like with art and shit. Who wants shirts and shit that says fuck all on it? I can’t wear that shit to school. Dumb fucks.

– P Dawg

Our Response:

What!?!? We offer a high-quality product to the public! How dare you! Your statement might be right about two stoners who know how to make t-shirts and websites, only that was about three years ago. We’re WAY bigger now. You’re still right about the stoner part…at least where some of us are concerned. Weed helps me piss people off more constructively. Thanks for your concern, but I’m thankful I don’t have to work a “real fuckin’ job.” Working sucks. I can’t believe I do so much voluntarily. Fuck. Honestly, we make shirts that piss people off because we want to give EVERYONE a chance to piss off the target audience of their choice. We’re fucking awesome like that. Now fuck off.

P.S. – P Dawg is a fucking retarded nickname. I bet you gave it to yourself.

-FMS


C from Detroit

rom: C from Detroit

To the President of FoulMouthShirts,

I am a mother of four and I have concerns about your website. I was carrying laundry up to my 18yr old son’s room yesterday because he’s home from college. He was asleep, but I laid his clean clothes out and happened to see that his laptop was on. I was going to turn it off for him, when I saw your website on the screen. I was curious and looked the website up on my own computer later that evening. I was horrified. What kind of people make their living doing what you do? Some of the products on your site were appalling. Please think carefully about what you are doing to the minds of influential children everywhere. If I see any of your shirts in my son’s laundry, I will bleach them.

– God Help You, C. from Detroit

Our Response:

Look, C…we don’t give a shit if you bleach your son’s clothes OR his mind. If you don’t want him coming to our website, there are applications that you can put on his computer that will keep him from seeing words like FUCK, SHIT, COCK, BALLS, PUSSY, ANAL BLASTING, BUKKAKE, BLOW JOBS, TWATS, TITS, and ASSHOLES. Really, though, he’s just gonna hear that shit somewhere else like school. He’s gonna buy our shirts anyway, because they fuckin’ rock. So you, like millions of other dumbfucks, need to wash the sand out of your vagina and get out of the kiddie pool.

Thanks for the Hatemail,

– FMS


Closed-Minded Fuck

From: Closed-Minded Fuck

Dear Assholes…

I was all good with your website and it made me laugh too. I don’t have a problem with the f-word at all. Your shirts are pretty funny. I looked at your religious section and I couldn’t believe what I saw. You have a shirt that says, “Jesus is Coming. Open Your Mouth” What is that? Why do you got to have that shit for sale when you got so much funny stuff without it?

Our Response:

Let’s make this perfectly clear…foulmouth believes in freedom of speech, bitch. That’s what we’re all the fuck about. Whether it be a knock on fucking your sister or fucking your god, we believe that it’s our right to do so. We’re not just for one aspect of freedom speech…Democrat or Republican, Christian or Athiest, whatever the case may be, we think everyone has the right to say FUCK YOU. Now Fuck off.

Thanks for your letter, you closed-minded fuck.

-FMS


Veggatarian Whiney Whore

From: Veggatarian Whiney Whore

I noticed that you carry a couple of items that have designs that say “If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?” and “I love animals. They make great steaks, coats, and gloves.” I’m attaching a video some of the suffering these animals go through to bring you your meat. If you only realized how obscenely we treat these poor, defenseless creatures, than you would change your mind about the things you promote. I hope that the next time that I visit your site, that you’ll have these items removed from your stock. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Our Response:

Wow. That video that you sent along with this email was perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, watching pigs get hung upside down and electrocuted is pretty awful, but it IS pretty funny for you to send footage of dogs and cats getting mutilated by asians. Go bitch at asians. We’re american, baby. I don’t really care how much pain a cow or pig has to go through, as long as I get my fuckin’ steak and sausage at the end of the day. I really don’t understand how fucking idiots like you can write shit to us and think it’ll do a damned bit of good. You don’t have the fucking stomach for the shit we do and say, so you weren’t going to buy shit from us anyway. You just want to fucking complain about something. Fuck you. There’s plenty of meat-eating assholes out there who want to tell the people like you how dumb they are, and we give them the means to do so. Shut the fuck up.

-the animal-eating assholes at FMS


Little Bitch Hotmail User

From: Little Bitch Hotmail User

To Foul Mouth Shirts,

this email isnt going to do any good, but it will make me feel better to write it anyway. you guys are pigs and wrong for what you do. i saw my friend wearing your shirt the other day and we got in a big fight because i didn’t want to go anywhere with her because i didn’t want to be seen out with someone who was going to wear that stuff to the mall. i don’t even remember what the shirt said but i would know what it looks like if i looked through your shirts and found it but im not going to because your stuff makes me sick. i am about to go to college and i don’t think my friend should hav shirts like that. im going to tell gher everytime i see her now. her and i are just not the same anymore.-hotmail user

Our Response:

Well, damnit. You’re just a little bitch, aren’t you? It sounds to me like you’ve tried to influence the way your friend acts and dresses probably all of her life. Thank God she’s getting a mind of her own and realizing that you’re a dominating hag-whore before she goes to college. It’s probably the best thing that’s ever going to happen to her. Wow. Maybe our originality and diversity helped her realize that she’s an individual and not just some tag-along sheep that stays by your side. That shit warms my heart. Thank you for the letter, little lady…now shut the fuck up.

-FMS