WORDS TO WIPE OUR ASS WITH – YOUR BEST HATE MAIL!

Latest

Miguel Alverez

From: Miguel Alverez (Brave enough to leave a name!)

It is funny to me to look at your website and see the things which you have for sale. I am a proud Mexican American, born in the United States of America to parents who crossed the border to be migrant workers. They did work for years and years that no white American would touch for wages that were barely enough to eat on. When I was born in the U.S., my parents wanted a life for me that they never got. I went to school and did very well and now I am in college working on my Social Work degree. When I graduate, I will help other Mexican immigrants get all that they can get out of the American system. I will help them become citizens and I will help them live the life that they always dreamed here in the United States. Mexican-American immigrants have a very hard time fitting into American society, and the language is not easy to learn for many of them because of their lack of education. You have a few shirts that say things like “English, Motherfucker. Do You Speak It?” and “Speak English or Get The Fuck Out.” Selling these shirts only helps spread a racist bias that fills American society. Wouldn’t it be better to promote unity? Think about it.

– Miguel Alverez

Our Response:

I thought about it, and I’m still pretty fuckin’ sure that I think illegal immigration is horseshit. It’s illegal, you dumbfuck. How do you know that American Citizens wouldn’t do the jobs your parents did so long ago? We’re not lazy, Miguel. I know plenty of people personally who would work hard for a fair day’s wage who don’t have jobs right now. If your parents and people like them didn’t swoop in and take jobs illegally for such a cheap wage, than American citizens would have the opportunity to work those same jobs legally for standard wages. If Mexicans, or anyone else for that matter, want to enter the United States to live the “dream” than I fucking encourage them to do so…legally. Until that happens, there are going to be plenty of people just as pissed off as I am who want to see illegal immigrants to learn english and to stop thinking of themselves as “special”. Shut the fuck up, Miguel.

-FMS

Advertisements

Upset Mommy

From: Upset Mommy

To The “Gods Upon a Mountain”,

I’ve seen the website for the shirts, and I have to say that you guys have no social manners or political correctness at all. What is with that? I heard the complaint from heaven call and I feel sorry for what you guys did to that poor lady. She was only concerned about the content of the interweb, which I have to agreee is awful these days. You cannot go anywhere without getting popups about porno and awful things that I don’t want my daughter ever to see. You guys treated that lady like she was the scum of the earth, when its actualy YOU GUYS who are scum. I know you guys are going to laugh at this letter, but I don’t care. It needs to be said. Be nicer to people who have complaints, because you’ll run your customers off if you’re so mean.

Our Response:

Dear Upset Mommy,

You dumb bitch, give me a fucking break. We were mean to the poor lady in the “Call From Heaven” conversation? Really? We didn’t go hunting that bitch down to give her shit. She called US. She stuck her nose in OUR fucking business. She was so self-important that she thought that we would give a shit about her opinion. For every 100 shirts we sell, we get a phone call or a letter like yours that bitches us out about our content and what we do. It’s really quite simple, sweetheart: if you don’t like us, fuck off and never come back. Never utter the name of Foul Mouth Shirts to anyone again ever. We don’t give a shit. There are enough freedom-loving assholes out there who will buy our shit just because it gives them a chance to “say” shit out loud that they’ve always wanted to say. It’s a rare thing to be able to tell the world to “fuck off” and to get away with it. We make that happen, so in the theme of who we are and what we do…I would proudly like to tell you to FUCK OFF AND SHUT UP.

-FMS

Random Bullshit

From: Random Bullshit

foul mouth shirts suck ass and everything you do sucks ass. get off my internet and fuck you. i ghope you guys die and never get laid again. fuck foulmouthshirts.com. im out.

Our Response:

Wow. I mean…wow. What the fuck is this? I hope that some bored kid wrote this and not anyone over the age of 10. Holy shit, I just realized that the fate of America rests in the not-so-capable hands of fucknuts like you. We are fucking doomed. You are right. You’re out. Out of your fucking mind.

-FMS

God Bless (my balls)

From: God Bless (my balls)

Your shirts are completely tasteless and offensive. I guess that is what you want. I saw your add in my new issue of Rolling Stone and thought that I would look you up. What kind of person are you to think that a small little warning would keep kids off this site? It is websites like yours that are corrupting our kids. I can’t believe that you would wear these shirts around. Who are going to be the ones to protect our children if not the adults?

Your shirts are sexist, racist and just purely tasteless. But I guess that is what you want, and you don’t seem to care about where this country is going. It is people like yourself that are sending this country strait to hell. Speaking of which, why out all the things should you make fun of Jesus, our Lord and Savior? You are damned and I pray for your soul and the soul of every person with so much hate in them. When a Republican is re-elected I hope that he sees sites like yours and closes you down along with every abortion clinic. The children are our future.

God Bless

Our Response:

Dear God Bless,

We make fun of Jesus because it’s funny. If Jesus can’t laugh at our jokes, than he’s a pompous douchebag that I wouldn’t want for my “Lord and Savior” anyway. God has a fucking sense of humor, otherwise he wouldn’t have made ridiculous fucks like you for me to laugh at. Truely, we are blessed. Let us pray.

“Dear God and Jesus, please forgive us for making people mad at us. Please forgive us for making people take time out of our busy fucking day by sending us dipshit emails that we have to respond to because they’re too fucking idiotic to ignore. Please make their urine turn into snot, kind of like when you turned water into wine. That would be funny as fuck. Amen.”

-FMS

Pointer and Laugher

From: Pointer and Laugher

Leave it to a bunch of cry baby liberals to come up with a lame ass website like yours. I understand though…you just can’t seem to get your heads out of your asses can you? I feel sorry for you actually…you’re like circus freaks..we just sit back, point, and laugh…Keep up the good work!!!

Our Response:

You’re God-damned right we’re like a group of Circus Freaks. I sit in my fucking tent all day wacking off my giant cock. They call me “Cannon, The Boy With The Giant Python Dick”. Oh, look, there’s The Foul One over there in his tent. Pay a nickle, and he’ll beat you over the head with a fucking mallet. You can point and you can laugh, fucker. We’ll be laughing with you all the way to the fucking bank. We’ll be keeping up the good work for a long, long time…probably not as long as you’re job at McD’s as a “shift leader”. Shut the fuck up.

-FMS

D.C.

From: D.C.

I was just reading online about some kids who took a very docile dog and dragged him behind a truck..needless to say the poor dog died. T-shirts like you offer that promote violence towards animals are not funny. Hence, you suck!

– D.C

Our Response:

Dear D.C.

That really sucks about that dog. It also really sucks that you’re a dumbfuck. A fucking t-shirt doesn’t make people think about killing animals for fun, no matter what the fucking shirt says. Animal cruelty comes from sociopathic crazy fucks who got touched on their dick by their uncle when they were a little kid. Our shirts make light of horrible situations, because humor makes them easier to deal with. Plus, animals in pain always sound funny to me. Shut the fuck up.

-FMS

Jesus Christ Wannabe

From: Jesus Christ Wannabe

I am very shocked about the material you have on your shirts . I am a man who believes in Jesus Christ how dare you guys disrespect him like that. God will shine on the just as well as the unjust.I was looking for some shirts but I will take my business else where.

Our Response:

Well, damnit. I have never been so upset as when I got your email about Jesus shining on me, or whatever. I didn’t know Jesus Christ shined on anything. He must have robot eyes, or something. Robot Zombie Jesus Christ with laser eyes scares me. I pledge to lead a better life. Until then, shut the fuck up.

-FMS